love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I had to cum in my sink.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
