Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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