If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
