Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
