I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
