Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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