We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
