how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
