There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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