It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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