I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
