considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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