$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
