maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
wow bdsm is so cute
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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