At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
