Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I have fence marks all over my body
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
