How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
