After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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