He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
