Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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