i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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