I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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