it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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