We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
