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rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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