I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
