i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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