Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
where are you?
Hypothermia
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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