just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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