I will die if light touches me.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
