After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
