After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
