You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
