Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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