PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
