My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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