I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
