Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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