i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
