so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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