Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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