You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
