I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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