all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
BRING THE BAGELS
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
