apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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