i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
