I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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