i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
