help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
