guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
