rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
