sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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