How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
