After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
