bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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