totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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